From belly to bassinet: surviving the first weeks with a new baby (or a bumpy ride through early motherhood)

Three point five months ago, I gave birth to my first baby — a beautiful baby girl we called Lilia Rose or just Lila for short.

Thinking about the first clouded days of motherhood and the blur they’ve left behind, I’m reminded of the car ride home from the hospital.

For me, taking our baby girl home was the first mum milestone, a bright marker in the meandering road of my life. It surprised me with the exciting, wonderful and nerve-storm-havoc-causing realisation I was responsible for another human life: I had become a mother.

While my legs still resembled large hot air balloons that could transform the grey Melbourne skyline to a fiery, crimson red, my pregnant belly was gone. I had given birth, finally. I had a daughter and she was beautiful. 

Sitting in the back seat next to baby Lila, who looked tiny in her car seat, while her daddy drove slower than usual, I smiled: we were bringing our baby home for the first time.

But I also found myself biting my nails. I never expected to be so protective of someone I had only met a few days ago. Surely, this wasn’t what I should be feeling?

I closed my eyes as we turned through the intersection to distract from worries about other cars: what if they’re driving too fast and don’t see us? What if their brakes fail or someone runs a red light? What if…?  

Placing my arms around Lila whenever we turned a sharp corner, I sang ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ to her to muffle the traffic noise. She listened while looking directly at me, oblivious, unlike me, to the cars around us.

As I caught her dad’s eye in the rear-view mirror, my mind raced faster than the cars around Albert Park Lake during grand prix season: was our house baby proof, how would we cope in winter, what if she gets a cold, what temperature should the heating be on, how soon could I read Aesop’s fables to her, would she need more grow-suits, do babies wear socks, how much sleep will she need, how often should I feed her, and how many baby wipes does it take to clean a poo-stained bottom properly?

But what struck me like a tonne of soiled nappies is: how was I going to survive the first weeks with a new baby? 

I didn’t have the answer then and I don’t now. What I can offer to first-time mums reading this is a list of things that helped me navigate through those messy, confusing and precious first weeks.

First things first list

• Look after yourself as well as your baby. This means make time every day to do something nice for yourself, such as a bath when your partner comes home from work or when your baby is sleeping.

• You’ve heard this before, but sleep when your baby sleeps. If like me, you find it difficult to sleep during the day, try to sleep longer in the morning after a feed. If you really can’t sleep, at least lie down and relax with a magazine (and forget the dishes).

• Go outside even if the skies are grey and it’s cold. Rug-up and let the crisp air soothe you and your baby. Don’t forget to put the rain cover in the pram and take a brolly with you, too.

• Accept ALL offers of help from family and friends. When people cook meals for you (especially your mum), it doesn’t mean they think you can’t manage dinner, it means they care.

• Take time to get to know your baby. Everything is new to your baby just like mothering is new to you. Whatever you’re feeling, it is normal (if you feel down more than happy, tell someone).

• Breastfeeding can drive you bonkers. It can be a bumpy ride and getting it right (for you) won’t happen overnight. Make an appointment with a lactation consultant for advice. It’s free through your local council.

• When approaching the shopping centre escalators don’t walk up them the wrong way, particularly with a pram but do remember to pay for your parking ticket before getting to the exit barrier.

With baby Lila snug in my arms, I walked from the car into the house. Placing my baby girl in her bassinet, with a gentle kiss I whispered in her perfect little ear: ‘I’m your mummy sweetie. Welcome home.’

If you have a story about your experience of early motherhood or fatherhood, I would love to hear from you.